"Insomnia" or "When Sleep Comes, I’ll be Awake" (2022) is a handmade book that emerged from an experiment in sleep deprivation, designed to mimic the disorienting effects of altered consciousness — like the experiences Aldous Huxley explored through drugs — but without substances. Over the course of three sleepless days, I pushed my mind to the edge, capturing the surreal mental and physical strain of insomnia through slow-shutter, abstract photographs. The result is a visual meditation on the confusion and heightened sensitivity of the mind when deprived of rest.
Handbound with photo paper that I developed and enlarged in the darkroom, the images reflect the fragmented, dreamlike state I found myself in, blurring the lines between clarity and delirium. Each photograph represents an attempt to capture a fleeting, altered perception, suspended between reality and hallucination. The struggle to make sense of these moments became part of the creative process, mirroring the tension of trying to hold onto something when it constantly slips away.
In addition to the photographs, I’ve included handwritten notes, experimental drawings, and marks on discarded photogram paper — elements that embody the fractured thoughts and sensations of sleeplessness. The tactile nature of the book invites the viewer to engage with both the images and the physical act of creation, reflecting the mental effort required to push through the haze of exhaustion.
"When Sleep Comes, I’ll be Awake" is an exploration of altered perception and the fragility of the mind, a visual expression of what it feels like to be on the brink of consciousness, experiencing a world that shifts and fades before your eyes.